This one minute short film is deeply personal. It explores the hidden struggles of depression and self harm, a subject I have lived through and carried with me for years. Depression The Side You Don’t See was not just an assignment for my cinematography module, it was a chance to finally give shape to emotions I had long kept silent.

Why I Chose This Story

At first, I tried to create stories about other things. But with only six months to deliver, I realized I needed to go inward. I needed to tell the story I knew best, my own. Too many times I acted like I was fine. Too many battles I lost in silence. Too many hours I spent crying in the dark. Those words became the heartbeat of this film. Instead of hiding them, I chose to frame them, to let them breathe, to let them be seen.

The Process and Learning Curve

I recorded the assignment with a willing model named Destiny. We kept the special effects simple: Mercurochrome for blood tones and a new batch of homemade scar wax I mixed to match her skin tone. It wasn’t perfect, you can still see the wax in some shots, but that’s part of the journey. I am still learning both cinematography and special effects, and this project was about experimenting, testing my limits, and telling a story that mattered.

Every shot was intentional. The dim lighting, the silence, the stillness, they weren’t just visuals, they were emotions. They were the weight of what it feels like to carry something invisible. Even though the technical side is still developing, the story came through, and that is what mattered most to me.

What the Film Represents

This film is about contrast. The face we show the world versus the reality we hide. The smiles and laughter versus the tears and exhaustion. The care we give others versus the emptiness we sometimes feel inside.

I wanted to show that depression doesn’t always look like sadness, sometimes it looks like someone who seems fine, who’s functioning, who’s even making others laugh, but inside, they’re crumbling.

I want to be clear: no real harm was ever depicted. Everything you see was created with makeup, beginner special effects, and practical tricks. The visuals may be intense, but they are symbolic, a way of showing what depression can feel like when words aren’t enough.

Feedback from Rory Hinds

Before sharing Rory’s words, it’s important to explain what a DP is. A Director of Photography (DP), also called a cinematographer, is the person responsible for the visual language of a film. They make creative decisions about camera angles, movement, lighting, and depth of field to ensure that every shot supports the story emotionally and visually.

One of the most meaningful parts of this project came after the film was finished, when I received feedback from Rory Hinds. For those who may not know him, Rory is an internationally recognized cinematographer and director of photography, with years of experience working on feature films, commercials, and high end productions. His eye for detail and his ability to balance technical precision with emotional storytelling is something I deeply admire.

Here is his actual critique:

“Well done Tarrynn, really good work here. Well executed with great camera moves and use of depth of field in the shots.

This content matter is important so please keep making videos like this and sharing with the world.

Cheers
Rory”

Inspiration and Influences

As much as this short film came from a personal place, I wasn’t creating in a vacuum. I drew a lot of inspiration from filmmakers and creators whose work has shaped the way I think about camera movement, framing, and emotional storytelling.

Gabriel Conte — His ability to weave authenticity into his visuals reminded me that the camera isn’t just a technical tool, it’s a mirror. Watching how he frames intimate, personal moments gave me the courage to turn the lens inward and tell my own story.

Peter McKinnon — His mastery of dynamic camera angles and cinematic pacing pushed me to experiment with perspective.
Even in a one minute short, I wanted to bring that sense of energy and intentionality to each shot, making the visuals feel alive
rather than static.

Matti Haapoja — His storytelling through natural light and handheld intimacy influenced how I approached the mood of the film. Instead of over lighting or over staging, I leaned into simplicity, letting shadows and imperfections carry the emotional weight.

Together, their work reminded me that cinematography is about more than just technical polish. It’s about using the camera as a language, every angle, every movement, every frame is a word in the story you’re telling.

Final Thoughts

This short film isn’t perfect. The edges of the wax show, the lighting could be better, the shots could be tighter.
But it’s real. And that’s what I care about most. Even in its rawness, it tells the story I needed to tell.
It was my first step into storytelling through cinema, and it won’t be my last.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please reach out for help. You are not alone.

• USA: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline — 1 800 273 TALK (1 800 273 8255)
• UK: Samaritans — Call 116 123
• Canada: Talk Suicide Canada — 1 833 456 4566
• Australia: Lifeline Australia — 13 11 14
• International: Find support in your country at
  Befrienders Worldwide

Remember: your story matters, even when it feels invisible. Sharing it, whether through words, film, or art, can be the first step toward healing, and it may also give someone else the courage to share theirs.